Attack Of The Tarantula
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: Why is Grissom so angry? Why is Hodges squealing like a girl? And why is there a kitten in Warrick's shirt pocket?


My first attempt at a crack!fic in the awesome world of CSI. Just having a little lighthearted fun with our beloved CSIs. There's a little bit of GSR thrown in there, and YoBling if you squint, because I am a complete and total shipper. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own absolutely NOTHING! Not even the darn spider...

CSICSICSICSICSICSI

It was Grissom's first day back after his sabbatical, and the entire department was abuzz with excitement.

He nodded benevolently at his CSIs as he strolled into his office. There was a crossword puzzle waiting with his name on it, with several parts unsolved.

He got to his desk and picked up the puzzle. At the top, in block letters, was the name GIL GRISSOM. He smirked and picked up his favorite pen. But when he moved to answer question, he gasped.

The puzzle had already been completed!

With a roar, he threw down the paper. "Who did this?" he bellowed, shaking the glass of his office. "Who finished my puzzle?"

On the other side of the lab, Ray Langston flinched. He had only meant to do one, but he had gotten so consumed, he just had to finish the whole thing! With a girlish squeal, he dove under a table and covered his head.

In the locker room, Nick Stokes hummed to himself as he opened his locker and retrieved a fresh shirt. As he closed the locker and began to unbutton the shirt he was wearing, his ears perked up.

Was someone playing... I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt?

His fingers paused, and the music stopped. Okay, he was really tired. Bed sounded like a great idea. He resumed unbuttoning his shirt.

There it was again!

Jeez, he needed a nap.

Warrick walked through the lab, his intense cerulean eyes focused on the file he was holding. As he passed one of the new techs, he heard her giggle. What on earth was she laughing about?

He shook his head. Women. He continued to walk, and it was a few moments before he realized that two female techs were laughing and pointing at him. He closed the file. "What?"

Then he looked down. In the pocket of his shirt sat an impossibly tiny kitten. "How did...?" He plucked the kitten from his shirt and stared at it.

"Will someone please tell me how a kitten got in my shirt?"

Grissom glared angrily at his paper, then forced himself to calm down. He would play with his spider... He went to his spider's container and looked inside.

Just as he realized his beloved spider was not in the container, Hodges let out a shrill scream.

"Tarantula!"

Every tech in the lab scrambled away from the tarantula that casually skittered across the floor.

As Hodges ran outside, he was suddenly blindfolded and knocked out. When he came to, he realized that he was hanging from something.

"Okay, kids, ready to hit the piñata?"

Oh, no...

Back in the lab, Grissom had finally caught his spider and gently placed it back in its cage. Then he looked at his frightened techs.

"Everyone, back to work!" He walked away, muttering to himself.

As he reached the door of his office, Sara approached him with her usual cheery smile. "Hi, boss."

His stony expression melted away, and he opened the door. "Sara, come with me. I need to talk to you..."

"Oooh..." chorused the techs.

He glared at them before unleashing his spider again, but their screams were drowned out by Hodges yelps of pain as the kids struck him with bats...

Sara Sidle sat upright in her bed, her heart pounding and her mouth dry. What the hell was that?

Beside her, Grissom stirred and yawned. "What's wrong, Sara?"

She groaned softly and settled into his open arms. "I think I drank too much at Catherine's bachelorette party."

He chuckled sleepily and lightly stroked her arm. "I know how to help with that."

"How?"

She gasped and laughed as he rolled her onto her back and proceeded to make her forget everything but him...

Everything, that is, except for his damn tarantula.

The End.

A/N: This is what my delirious mind forces me to write when I'm sick and haven't slept. LOL. But it was pretty fun to use Hodges as a pinata. Thanks for reading!


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